SHOOT AT SIGHT

SHOOT AT SIGHT

It was early morning 11 am on a Saturday, suddenly I received two important calls

I could not delay any of them one of was about the marriage proposal, I was excited.

Marriage? Me? Control. Control.

The other call was also an important call

No!  It was not either from my manager nor was it a Trunk call.

It was the nature’s call. Finally I had done both and relieved too.

We had to go for my marriage proposal in our village next Sunday.

I was thrilled as it is my first marriage proposal and also as I was getting married for the first time in my life ,I fantasized as if it’s my Bharath procession, I am sitting on a horse and everyone are dancing and I am flying 100 rupee notes.

  “Note hazaaro'n ke, khulla chhutta karaane aaaaya”

 I thoroughly prepared myself by practising in front of mirror as if it is my visa interview and also had done facial 10 times , sitting for facial was kind of chemotherapy but I had to do it to look better  than what I am .

That Fateful Sunday came; we booked a cab and started for the village. The village is so secured that no GPS system can find the village map. As soon as we have reached that village I found a mob of people coming towards my cab to receive me. As soon as I got down from the car, they started staring at me like as if I am newly joined animal in the zoo.

The house was fully decorated with mango tree branches and Garlands. I got a doubt that did i come for only marriage proposal or am I going to get married now itself? Then a group of 4 or 5 aunties’ came towards us with a plate to welcome us with  harathi . They started singing

Hum ko man ki Shakti dena

Man vijay kare

Doosro ki jay se pehle

Khud ko jay kare

I did know what they meant by that song, but for sure I got motivated to perform to the best of my ability. I was asked to enter by placing my right leg first.

Sentiment for them but for me it is excitement!

After entering in to the home i found a big hall filled with silk sarees and lungis and some dhotis. My eyes were searching for my my Sheila and Sheila ki jaawani, that was when I was told that we have to wait for another 30 minutes some old Great grandfather believed that the Rahu and Ketu are wrestling against each other in WWE .

Oh my God, another 30 minutes??

Sentiment Again, But it was excitement for me as the suspense is about to be revealed.

People started a rapid fire third degree interrogation by asking questions

Which company and what do you do?

I said I work for Apple

Some old big fat uncle replied why are working in Apple and Banana milk shake companies , Were you not good enough to get into Satyam

I told my client is GHMC; we are creating the automation of sewage network using our company’s proprietary tools and methodologies. Our onsite set up is in Musi and fully functional offshore facility is at faltunagar.

Finally one dhoti uncle offered a chair and asked me to sit by facing east,the girl was asked to sit facing to north. I was going nuts. When I turned my waiting list ticket got confirmed, directly from waiting list to 2 tier AC.

JACKPOT!  . I smiled at her, she too smiled at me. She was beautiful, she was the optimized and hybrid variety of Munni , Sheila and Chammak Challo .I said to myself HIP HIP HURRAY , HIP HIP HURRAY !

I asked them can we talk in private

They all shouted NO in unison , I was shocked by their overreaction and over action.

  

Meanwhile one good looking aunty offered some snacks for us. I was damn hungry at that time started eating crazy; I thought at least the cab expenses will be covered.

Suddenly one old lady asked me, what she can eat first “Sweet or hot“?

i Said that u can eat whatever u want.

But she forced me to tell. Without any particular preference or choice I said “Sweet”. They started shouting and hugging each other saying the girl is very lucky.

I didn’t find any relation between sweet and the bride’s luck; I had no clue as what was happening there. My uncle clarified that “according to their tradition asking them to eat sweet means that I am ready to marry this girl.”

So   I had to marry my wife because on that fateful day I asked some unknown stranger to eat sweet, my shoot at sight orders were issued till date I am under arrest!