IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN THAT THE END WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL……….

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN THAT THE END WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL……….

Today neither will I quote Great leaders nor will I make an attempt to steal the show by exaggerating inspirational stories, today I would share few of my personal moments which made me what I am from what I was!

When I grew up, I realized that my illiterate parents belonged to a lower middle class family with no access to education at all. My  younger brother and sister completed our beautiful family. For many years I stood first in class for which at home I was treated like a super hero.

In school I was going from strength to strength by this time my mother has already declared in society, friends and relatives about my marks and why I would be the most successful person, for her success was simply an end of problems ironically for me success was only to learn math’s formulae and chemical equations by heart. She is my biggest fan, my greatest supporter and my super best friend.

Out of nowhere I found a new passion of being a gifted cricketer and I instantly fell in love with the game. My parents urged me to leave this game as playing games was a rich man’s hobby and we cannot afford it .I willingly sacrificed my first love. Things like washing my bicycle, sharpening of a pencil, polishing of shoes and packing of lunch box was done with such precision and unconditional love that all my friends at school  felt  jealous and always said that everyone should  have parents like mine. I was given the status of a King and the respect of a leader.

                                                                                                 

Time flew, my engineering days passed in the blink of an eye, and when I got a job in Mumbai I gifted my parents a feeling of immense happiness and satisfaction.  My already king like status in the family was elevated to even greater heights albeit my mother could not control the emotions as I would be going away from them for the first time in my life.

My father bought a free STD reliance connection and everything was being discussed on phone, for some time I thought I was working in a call center, “what else” became the code word, after every sentence the discussion began with “what else” and conversation continued…  I wondered then how was reliance making profits.  I recollect my mom calling to tell me to put on a sweater and get wrapped in a quilt just because the weather was cool and chilly in Hyderabad. I  enjoyed my life to its full and considered myself luckiest person. i  was laughing so much that i thought smiling was waste of time.

All of a sudden I received a call saying my mom is admitted to the hospital and I had to fly back immediately. It was a brain hemorrhage.  I did not know what was happening, when I went to the ICU I could not believe what I was seeing, my heart stopped;   we looked into each other's eyes, we both knew something must be very wrong. Just minutes after that I became a stranger to myself, I lost myself.

Life became an unquenched thirst and a series of unfinished goals and dreams. I felt like part of my life is over. Every day my weeping life told me, please do not destroy me anymore. I had all the time in world with nothing to do.

There was no one who asked me to take little more rice...

There was no one who was waiting for me at home

There was no one who was praying for my safety and happiness

There was no one for whom I had to stay alive

I still pick up the phone to call her and give her some kind of news

I still hear her voice, still feel her touch, and is still alive in my heart

I cried by hiding my wounded heart, I cried with a smile on my face,

I cried without showing my tears, I cried by cursing my fate

I was not the same person I was. I had no will or desire to live ,i almost decided to call it off. But somewhere there was a force or probably my  conscience which told me not to give up; the end definitely has to be beautiful, For the sake of my family I donned a happy mask and started living a paralyzed life.

Everyone in the family was acting as if they were happy, few years passed by and my marriage became a crucial turning point in my life, it was a lifesaving occasion.  Words will fail to explain the magic my wife created to get my family back on track. On a July morning in 2009 I saw something which I will never ever forget in my life.i saw someone which made me complete.

How will I tell you, who you are to me?

 How will I tell you that you my life, my devotion and my peace

You are in my breath, and in my heart

You are in my sleep, and in my dreams
You are in my every word and in my thoughts
You are in my past, present and in my future

How will I tell you, I am nothing without you?

 

You are my success and defeat

You are my path, and my destination
You are my prayer and my wish
You are my identity
 

How will I tell you, you are my god?

How will I tell you, who you are to me?

I was blessed with a beautiful angel whom I named after my Mom. There were only 2 options either she returned to me or I decided to go back to her. I got another excuse to stay alive, immediately life transformed from death awaiting mode to life reliving mode, my dreams have come true.i was happy beyond imagination.i danced in joy and screamed in excitement.I don’t mind what life has to offer me in future; I have already lived my life. I always believed there is a difference in living life for a reason and I feel special in living my life for my daughter.

Let us ask ourselves a question?

What if we come to know at the end that the end would be so beautiful?

May be we then would have enjoyed or atleast accepted it right from the beginning.

The biggest inspiration is in believing that the end would be beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen, we are all running the race of our life in laps only to discover that every finishing line is also the starting line.

Before we finish the race

Will we see suffering?         

Will we experience difficult times?

Will problems come our way that we in no way deserve?

Yes, yes,. And yes.

The fact is, we all have a past, some of which we would rather not talk about, and some of which we wish had never happened….

When a runner runs a race, the runner always looks forward, the runner does not look backward, and the runner gazes towards the finish line. No race is completed by looking or running backwards.We all will finish the race we are in. In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that.

In a world of progress, there is no ‘Midas touch’. Neither failure is final nor is success permanent, if you play this game of life long enough,without quitting midway and play to the end eventually we all will cross the finishing line ,extending this analogy  it is so very important to run this race of life till the end or we will never know ourselves how far we could have gone.

Do not look back and grieve over the past for what is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for what has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering as

The greatest pride is to grow in your own eyes.

The greatest setback is to fall in your own eyes.

Because you never know .

What if we come to know at the end that the end would be so beautiful?